Creative Life – is it worth it?

Work have been slow, wait that is not true – I have been crazy busy, but the project I was working on this sunny Wednesday afternoon got an unexpected extension till Monday. (instead of being due tomorrow)
So there I was with a few free hours to kill. The question on my mind – how to spend them well? Sure I can catch up on filing, but I really wanted to celebrate this very welcomed brake and filing just did not seem fun to me.
SO… I took a look at the list of my dream projects. This list consists of projects I want to do, but never have time for. This list includes projects like redesigning a wine label for a great bottle of wine with a lousy label that have been seating on my table for a few month, tiling the bathroom, mowing the lawn and making a new lampshade – bingo!
Lampshade project seemed like a winner, should not take too long and I had all the materials for it, so no need for any additional financial investment or a trip to the art store.
Let me just explain something about the lampshade project. It was not that I was any good at it or had any previous experience making lampshades. But like so many other creative people I have fallen into a trap of think: “I bet I can make a better one myself”.
So, I start working. Right a way I get another brilliant idea: I should document this, so that I can write a post about it and promote myself on sites specializing in craft making. So there I was, measuring and cutting away, while taking lots of photos to document my progress. An hour later I have made the most atrocious lampshade ever seen by mankind and document on film.
In a fit of rage I rip the ugly shade to pieces.
Now I sit alone in my kitchen facing the mount of trash that used to be an ugly lampshade. And it hits me – I am a failure at making lampshades. But so what?
I prefer being a failure at doing something I love, than being a success at doing something I despise. So, professional lampshade making might not be in my future, but lots of craze creative project definitely are.
As I sit and look at this mound of lampshade trash, I start to think that it looks kind on interesting. So I take my camera out and start shooting again. As I was taking photos of my post apocalypses lampshade, I have noticed the way my 3 month all puppy was sun bathing in a pool of light by the door. So I have switched subject matter for a while and got my favorite picture of the day. All in all, it turned out to be a pretty great afternoon.
Why am I sharing this with you? Because to me this story illustrates how our obsession with results often erases the joy of doing things. Creative live is definitely worth living, even if in the end all you have to show for it is a bunch of pretty pictures and lots of great memories.
Written by Annya A. Uslontseva, Seattle Graphic Designer